not amused with how last anon thinks they are funny. It's clearly a touchy subject yet they make a joke like that. congrats other anon, you've reached a low of immaturity that a person your age probably shouldn't. Micca,keep smiling!
Thank you, Anon. I know my boyfriend - he’s not going to cheat on me, especially not with someone who can’t even form a proper sentence. He has taste and class, something that the other anon clearly lacks.
“Once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” - Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
I keep pushing people away.
And for that, I am sorry. I’m not blameless and faultless, and I really shouldn’t be.
Firstly, my ex. He’s not the only who’s changed. I did too. I did things in the past couple of months that I would not think the old Micca would do. I’m still me… but different. And really, if I could learn to embrace the changes that’s happened to me, why can’t I do the same with him? So what if he’s different from the Jay I fell for more than a year ago? Time goes on, people change, and I really should not condemn them for changing into something I didn’t want.
This is my apology for doing just that. I’m sorry I’ve been such a cold-hearted bitch the past couple of months. I blamed him for us not being friends, but really, the fault lies in me as well. How can we be friends if I deleted him from life? It’s true he hurt me, but I hurt him as well. The fault lies in both of us equally, and I’m sorry for denying that.
Secondly, my boyfriend today. I ended up doing the opposite of what I wanted. I tried so hard to let him in my life, and yet the little things I did pushed him away. I remember him telling me when we first started talking to each other that he loved talking to me because I always managed to make him smile. Thinking back on the events that happened after that, I realize now that I was so caught up on being confused and frustrated on what we should label our relationship with each other that I stopped being the carefree girl he first met. Instead of making him relax, I added to the stress.
My reaction to that Tweet a week ago was proof of this. Back then I would have just dismissed that, but instead, I jumped the gun and doubted him. Where was the trust that I put in him? How was my trust so shaken by just a mere 140 characters? I still regret over-reacting about that.
I am so sorry that I didn’t trust him. And if he will just talk to me again, I will do my best to make it up to him. He means a lot to me, and I really really hope he knows that.
And if he says he doesn’t want this anymore.. I will understand. I used to think that the phrase “If you love someone, you will let them go” is bullshit. If you love someone, why not fight for them? But then, if you love someone, you will put their best interest ahead of your wants. If you love someone, you will let go of them if you know that your presence is causing more harm than happiness. If you love someone, you will know when to back down from the fight for
them.
For now, I will keep waiting for that answer. I will keep fighting for this.. for him, until he tells me he doesn’t want me to anymore.
Some people are so cruel, you seem like a great person and I wish I got to know you during the school year! You don't seem like a bad room mate at all, that person must not have heard many room mate horror stories before.
Thank you, Anon. (= There’s still three~ years of University to go! We have plenty of time to get to know each other!
Catching up with old friends.
It’s amazing how even if we haven’t spoken to and seen each other in so long, or even after a fall out, we can still put those things behind us and just move on and still be as close as we were before.
I treasure these people in my life. They’re the ones who put a smile on my face, the ones who make waking up every day worth it. They’re the ones who have stuck with me since day one - they’ve seen me at my best and they’ve seen me at my worst and still, they remain there for me.
Me: How is it that we can remain friends after all these years yet he and I can’t?
Him: It’s really quite simple. I put so much effort into making things work with us because I didn’t want to lose you.
And that’s it. Real friends put in the effort to remain friends. If someone is truly important to you, you will make it work.
I just want to say thank you and that I truly love you guys. You’re all amazing.
